Getting a divorce can be a messy, sticky, and stressful process. Most couples don't ever expect it could happen to them when they're exchanging vows.
Sadly, more than 50% of marriages end in divorce and new divorces occur every 35 seconds. Divorces can be ugly and often bring out the worst in people.
It's best to never lose sight when you want out of an unhappy marriage by seeking revenge. Take a look at these divorce tips to help settle the process in a better and protect what's yours.
- Negotiate the Divorce
Sometimes it takes deeper understanding or marriage counseling and therapy to fix a marriage you think is broken. Temporary separation can also work for some couples. When talking or distance is not enough, you still shouldn't put up a brick wall.
Talk it out with one another and don't make a big thing out of the little things. If you aren't able to talk without anger or other emotions that get in the way, get a divorce mediator. This can help save and build a long term relationship even after you've parted ways.
- Get Support
Your emotions are likely to be all over the place in the process of a divorce. You should seek emotional support from friends and family when you need it. No matter how isolated you may think you are, you're not by yourself.
Getting others involved that can provide positive and constructive communication with you lower chances of emotional reactivity. If you feel you can't get the support from those you know, you can seek it from a therapist. When you need legal advice though, it is better to get professional help.
- Aim for Peaceful Options
No one really wants to duke it out in court and exchange cruel words with one another. Even when you are upset at certain aspects of the relationship, it is also important to be fair. This will help speed the divorce process.
If something can be altered that makes both you and your ex-partner happy, do it. There's nothing wrong with collaborating even if you'll no longer be together. If you have kids together, staying peaceful helps them too.
- Research First Before Filing
Going into a divorce blind may have you using pure emotions and assumptions on your partner as you build a case. You need to decide or have an idea what it is you want to get out of the divorce first.
Is it child custody? Money? Possessions?
There are various rules with each of these and you want to have a general idea of the process, including the filing fees. You also want to spend personal time gathering your own information against your ex-spouse.
- Be Organized
It can be easy to get lost during the divorce process. You need to remain focused on the principle issue(s) and not get sucked into ongoing disputes. It's worse if your fight has you deciding things on emotion instead of ration.
Keep documentation of everything. Paper is your best friend in court. You'll find it much easier to win disputes with records at hand. Take pictures and videos too if possible.
- Don't Rely on Emotional Justice
It's ok to shout (to a certain degree) and cry in court, but don't think your outbursts will give you the upper hand. It's the judge's job to look at both sides of the story objectively. Facts and providing valid claims are what will strengthen your case.
The judge won't care how much of a “jerk” you say your old partner is. Unless their bad behavior has a legal standing (and they normally won't), it's best to leave it out of court. Even without it, most divorces are granted due to irreconcilable differences.
- Get Legal Advice
It’s rare for divorces to end with no assistance from a Chicago divorce lawyer. One or both parties hire legal assistance to help strengthen their case. You may decide to get a divorce due to issues with finances, communication, or infidelity.
Even when you have documentation, you still need legal advice. Professionals can help you resolve money and communication issues better and create a more satisfactory outcome. Issues with trust and adultery are the most complex to fight in court to start a claim. This is because there must be proof of a motive and an existing opportunity. Adultery divorce laws don't require proof of sexual relations, but evidence of some romantic relations is needed.
- Don't Attempt to Hide Assets
Chances are if you have something of financial value you want to hide, your old partner already knows about it. Although splitting assets is a maddening process, it's better to do it than conceal it.
If your partner states assets you're holding or the court finds out, this will only hurt your credibility and add harsh penalties. Your best chance at saving your belongings is to be upfront.
- Spend Smart and Get Property Valued
Did you know most states prohibit you from making large purchases or liquidating your assets once a divorce is filed? If you want to buy something and ensure it's yours to keep, do it before you file.
Once a divorce goes through, nearly all property is fair game. You shouldn't expect a fair share if you have no clue what the value is. Guesswork will do you no favor so figure it out first to be ahead.
- Focus on the Bigger Picture
Always keep in mind what it was that made you want the divorce in the first place. You should identify what matters the most to you and never lose sight of it. You should focus on the things that matter and be strong enough to let go of the things that don't.
Using Helpful Divorce Tips
You may not be able to solve 100% of the things you want to sort with your ex-spouse and it's ok. Whatever can't be solved is heard in the court and a proper decision is made.
If you want to have a favorable divorce or have the court more in your favor, you should follow these divorce tips. So long as you get educated, prepared, and adapted to the new change of the relationship, you can find a more amicable way to end it. Or in the least, be the one at a better standing.
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