Friends have always been there for us through tough times, but not much can prepare you when you have to break up with your friends, because the friendship is one-sided. Ditching a deadbeat buddy can be unpleasant, however, knowing how to break up with your friends can make the process easier.
- Be honest
If you're still friends with the person you broke up with, it's probably because you're afraid of hurting their feelings. But when it comes to friendship, honesty is always the best policy.
It takes away the drama and uncertainty. If you want to be friends with someone, then be up front about that from the start. Don't make them guess or assume anything. You will save yourself the heartache of wondering if they feel the same way about you.
You can avoid awkward situations and misunderstandings in the future. If your friend likes you back and wants to continue seeing each other but doesn't know how to bring it up or ask for more from your relationship, then this will never happen unless one of you decides to make it happen. Your friend might think that he or she is doing something wrong because there hasn't been any mention of what this new friendship means for either of you moving forward, which could lead to some hurt feelings if he or she thinks that there's more going on than what actually is going on right now (or vice versa).
- Don't apologize for your feelings
“If you're not with me, then you're against me,” is a phrase that is often used in politics. It's used to show that if you don't agree with the person who said it, then you're against them.
But what's interesting about this phrase is that it can be applied to everyday life.
If you choose yourself, then you are choosing your own happiness. And if you choose your own happiness, then there are going to be people who don't like it. And sometimes those people might even be your friends.
The truth is: Not everyone will like everything about you and your life choices.
And that's OK! You don't have to try and please everyone — just yourself.
When it comes to friendship or any relationship for that matter, sometimes we feel like we need to apologize for choosing ourselves and being self-focused at times because we think it will make us seem selfish or egocentric. But this isn't true at all! You have every right in the world to put yourself first and do what makes YOU happy without feeling bad about it!
- Trust your instincts
When you know something isn't working out, trust your instincts. If a friend has been treating you badly, if they're not supportive of what's important to you or if they're just not fun anymore, then it may be time to move on. If something about the friendship feels off but you can't put your finger on what it is exactly, listen closely to your gut feelings and take action from there.
- Stop caring too much
You may think that not caring about someone is the same as hating them, but it's actually quite the opposite.
If you hate someone, it's because you care deeply about them. You hate what they've done, or you hate who they are, and either way you're stuck in a cycle where you can't let go of your emotions because they're so strong.
If you don't care about someone anymore, however, there's nothing holding you back from letting go and moving on with your life. You don't have to worry about hurting them or hurting yourself because there's nothing left to lose!
It doesn't mean that you don't love them anymore — sometimes it just means that you're ready for something different in your life.
- Choose your battles wisely
You know that friend who is constantly getting on your nerves? The one who never listens when you talk, or always talks over you? The one who always has a problem with everything you say and does it loudly so everyone can hear.
There are two ways to deal with this kind of behavior: either ignore it and hope it goes away, or confront them about it. But we both know that ignoring isn't the right answer here! If you're sick of being treated poorly by your friends, then you need to learn how to break up with them in a way that doesn't leave any hard feelings behind.
The key here is choosing your battles wisely. Not every fight is worth having, especially if they're going to end up causing more problems than they solve it. Don’t think about arguing with them but leave them be instead. Don’t stoop down to their level and ruin your image for them.
- Listen and ask questions for clarity
It makes it easier for both parties. When you listen carefully and ask questions for clarity, you'll have a better idea of what's going on in the other person's mind. That can help you understand why they're acting like they are — and also how much they need from your friendship right now. It will help them recognize their own needs without pressuring them into something they don't want or need.
It shows respect for the other person's feelings and opinions. If you value your relationship enough to end it, then you should also value their feelings enough not to insult them outright or tell them they're wrong without any explanation whatsoever. By explaining yourself in an open-minded way, you'll give them room to explore their own thoughts and emotions before coming up with an answer that works for both of you.
- Take time to think before you speak or act
The way we think about things affects what we do in the moment. If you want to break up with a friend in a way that doesn’t hurt either of you (or if you just want to improve your relationship), then it helps to take time before acting on an impulse or making a big decision. This gives you time to consider other options besides what feels right at the moment.
- Don't take it personally if your friend doesn't respond the way you'd hoped
If you have a friend who isn't being a good friend, it's easy to take it personally. You might think that your friend is intentionally being mean or ignoring you because of something you did.
If this is the case, try to put yourself in their shoes and see if they are acting differently because they're not happy with themselves or life.
Maybe they are dealing with a stressful situation or going through a rough patch in their life and don't have time for anything else. It's hard to see our friends go through these things, but it can help us learn how to be better friends ourselves.
- Realize that sometimes people have different ideas about friendship than you do (and that's OK!)
You might be surprised to learn that one of the best ways to break up with your friends is to realize that sometimes people have different ideas about friendship than you do.
It sounds counterintuitive, but it's true. This can happen when one friend is more invested in the friendship than another, or when they're looking for something different from it.
For example, you may want a friendship that's all fun and games, while they want a deeper connection. Or one of you might want to hang out more often and do more activities together, while the other wants a more casual relationship where you only see each other occasionally.
When this happens, the person who wants more will often feel pressured or left out by their friend who doesn't want as much intimacy or closeness in the relationship. And even if both people are on board for something casual or less intense, there's still room for misunderstandings and hurt feelings down the road if one person feels like they're giving too much to make sure their friendship stays afloat while the other person isn't pulling their weight.
- Remember that friendships are always a two-way street
You've probably heard that friendships are a two-way street. But have you ever stopped to think about what that actually means?
It's not just about being friends with someone who treats you well. It means that relationships are reciprocal, and each person contributes to making the friendship work. If you're feeling like your friend isn't giving as much as they're getting out of the friendship, then it might be time to let go. You must remember that you deserve the same treatment you are giving to them and you deserve to be love as well.
In any relationship, it's important to pay attention to red flags. Sometimes these red flags are obvious—others you might only notice if you take the time to step back and look at things from an outside perspective. Before you jump into anything, think about what your real interests and goals are, and take the time to cultivate these relationships in a healthy way that works for you.
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