Are you in a relationship that feels like it's moving into familiar, nay boring territory? More than anything else, relationships require attention and nurturing.
Relationships can become routine and stale. But the good news is there are many things we can do to spice up our relationships and make them exciting again.
With this in mind, here are 10 ways that you can keep your relationship exciting.
- Give each other space
Space is a powerful tool to have in your relationship arsenal, to help you and your partner lead more independent lives and hence feel more fulfilled.
Space is a sign of trust.
If you trust someone, you let them go out and be independent without worrying about what they're doing or who they're seeing. You don't monitor their phone calls or check where they are at all times (and if you do, that's not trust). Instead, you give them the freedom to take care of themselves and focus on their own personal goals — which will ultimately make them happier people who are better equipped to be great partners.
It's good to spend time with each other, but you should also spend time on yourself so that when you're together the qualities that drew you to each other in the first place will still be there.
- Engage in activities that you both enjoy
Does the idea of spending time with your partner fill you with dread? Do you feel like there is nothing interesting that you can do together? Do you feel like your relationship is going nowhere because you have nothing to talk about?
Finding activities that you and your partner both enjoy doing can be quite the challenge. It is easy to get caught up in what you like to do and forget that your partner has a different set of interests than you do. This can lead to an unbalanced relationship where one person feels as if they are constantly giving, while the other takes. Relationships are about give and take. Sometimes it is nice when one person does something for the other just because, but it's not healthy for one person to always be on the receiving end.
When you do things together, it brings you closer together as a couple. It also gives you something else to talk about besides work or the kids. It's important to find common ground with your partner, so that both of you are able to grow together as individuals and as a couple.
Doing things together also allows for more opportunities for physical contact, which will help increase intimacy in your relationship. When we feel loved and connected with our partner on an emotional level, we are more likely to want them physically as well (and vice versa).
- Do something new together
When you first meet someone, you and your partner's lives are completely separate. You have your own friends, your own interests, your own ways of doing things.
You get to know each other, and if things really work out, you might decide to merge those separate lives into one life together. This is a great thing, but it also means that you've got to make sure that you don't lose yourselves in the process of merging two lives together.
That's why taking on a new activity as a couple can be so important. It gives you both a chance to explore something new together and do something that neither of you have ever done before — so it doesn't matter if you're an expert or beginner; you're both learning something new together.
It also gives you an opportunity to get away from the routines that you've set for yourselves as a couple (and the pressure of having to live up to those routines).
- Play hard to get sometimes
“In relationships, playing hard to get is a way of testing another person's interest in you “.
It's also a way of making yourself appear more desirable by creating a chase.
So, if you want to start playing hard to get to test your partner's commitment and loyalty, here's how:
Be less available. When the two of you do make plans together, drop in the occasional reminder that you have other things going on in your life. This can be as simple as saying, ‘I'm so glad we could do this,' or ‘I wish I could meet up with you next week, but I already have plans.'
Make them work for your attention. This one is similar to being less available — but instead of dropping hints that you're busy, just make yourself busy. Instead of answering every message immediately or always making yourself available for video calls, try taking some time to respond or calling back later.”
- Change your lives by making a big move or taking a trip somewhere exotic together.
The excitement of the unknown and the feeling of being free will definitely help you both feel alive. It's important to get out of your comfort zones and see the world. The best way to do it is together. You'll enjoy each other's company even more once you see how much fun there is to be had in new places.
Making memories together is one of the most important things about being in a relationship. You want to look back on good times with your partner, so it's important to take every chance you can get to make some more.
- Enjoy nature together and have outdoor adventures
It keeps things new and fresh. After a few years together, relationships can become stale. This is where you start seeing your partner as “the person I spend every night with,” instead of “the person I love.” You may even feel like you aren't getting the same feeling out of your relationship that you did in the beginning. By having new experiences together, those feelings will come back because they help rekindle the spark.
You see each other in a different light. The best thing about going on an adventure is seeing your partner in action in unfamiliar situations. This will give you a better idea of their strengths and weaknesses as well as how they handle stress.
- Try new restaurants together and discover new cultures through food
Relationships are a lot of work, and it is necessary to dedicate time and effort to keep the spark alive. Sometimes all you need is fresh air and a change in scenery. Here are some reasons why eating out is important to keep your relationship exciting:
- It gives you both something to talk about other than work
- You can discover new cultures through food
- It allows you to try new things together
- It can be romantic, especially if it's your first date
- Eating out is fun because it breaks up the monotony of everyday life
- Learn a new skill or hobby together
To keep your relationship healthy and happy, you'll need to make sure it's constantly evolving. It's amazing how a small tweak to your daily routine can make a big difference in how much you two enjoy each other. Think of it this way: If you've been together for a while and don't try new things on the regular, it will be harder to find fresh things to talk about.
That said, learning a new skill or hobby together is an effective way to build intimacy and expand your repertoire as a couple. Here are some examples of things you can do together that will help bring excitement back to your relationship:
- Learn how to cook.
- Learn how to code.
- Learn how to play an instrument.
- Convey and express your feelings of love and admiration for your partner.
Becoming too comfortable with your partner can be a problem in your relationship. You might start to feel like your partner is an extension of yourself, and assume that you know them as well as you know yourself. Unfortunately, this mindset can cause you to become complacent, and stop paying attention to their needs.
It's not enough to simply assume that your partner knows how much you love them — you have to be willing to express those feelings regularly.
Some people are naturally shy or reserved when it comes to expressing their love, but it's important to be open about how you feel. Make sure your partner knows exactly what they mean to you.
Verbalise it, show it through gifts and acts of kindness, and if appropriate, physical touch.
- Communicate openly and honestly with each other
Be prepared to listen as well as talk.
It's not always easy to talk about what you want and need. It's even harder to talk about things that might hurt the other person's feelings. But it is vital to your relationship. You should both be able to express what you like, what you don't like or what you need from each other in order to feel loved or appreciated. This can only happen if you're honest and open with each other. Then, when one of you has a need, the other can meet it if they want to, without feeling pressured or manipulated into doing so.
In the end, though it may be easy to assume a relationship will last forever, it's important to remember that all relationships need maintenance—even the good ones. Over time, as time goes by, things will naturally change and evolve. But as long as both partners are willing to work together towards a shared goal of preserving their relationship, they can help each other accomplish just about anything.
