7 Relationship Red Flags in The First Date
It's common dating advice that if something isn't right within the first three months then it probably never will be. Here are some of the most common relationship red flags to look out for, which you'd be wise to avoid.
1. They're not looking at you
When you're on a first date and your date isn't looking at you, it can be a sign that they're not interested. They might be looking around the room, or they might be staring at their phone. Either way, if they're not making eye contact with you, that's a bad sign.
This is because eye contact allows you to see how your date feels about what you are saying. You can also tell if they are interested in what you have to say by observing their eye movements.
If they move their eyes around a lot, then this means that they are probably bored with the conversation and would like for it to end soon. However, if they look at you directly in the eyes and maintain this gaze for longer than usual, then this means that they find what you're saying interesting and want to hear more about it.
2. They don’t ask important things about you
It's not just the fact that they don't respond—it's also how they respond. If you ask them about their job, and they tell you all about their dream job but don't ask anything about you. then that's a red flag.
When you're first getting to know someone, it's normal to be nervous about saying the wrong thing or asking for too much information, but if your date doesn't make an effort to engage in conversation with you, that means they don’t care about you at all.
Normally, when you go on a first date with someone new, it's important to remember that you're both trying to get to know each other. You do that by asking questions and getting to know each other's interests and passions. By responding in an uninterested way however to those questions, or by trying to steer the conversation back around on themselves, it shows that they're more interested in talking about themselves than getting to know you better.
3. They're late
The first reason being late is a red flag is because it shows that they don't respect you as a person they’re going on a date with. If they are not willing to be reasonably punctual on your first date, what does that say about how you'll be treated by them over the course of your relationship?
The second reason being late is a red flag is because it shows that they don't care about your time—the most precious thing you have. It also shows that they lack courtesy, which is an important trait in any relationship.
The third reason is that because it shows that they are inconsiderate and disorganized. You've planned this event out, but then when it comes time to leave and get there on time, suddenly all plans go out the window and everything changes? That's not very thoughtful of them!
4. They're rude to the waiter/waitress
Sometimes, when you're on a first date with someone, you don't realize that the way they treat the waiter or waitress is a sign of how they'll treat you in the future.
Being rude to a waiter or waitress is one of the biggest red flags on a first date, because it says something about their character. This is because if they treat anyone like garbage, it's likely that you’ll be treated by your potential partner with the same attitude.
If they're rude to the server, it can be a red flag for what's to come. This is because their attitude towards service staff says a lot about their personality.
It also says something about how much respect they have for other people and their work ethic. With that being said, it might mean that they are also going to be rude to you later on down the road.
5. They tell you about all of their exes in detail
When you first start dating someone, you may be interested in hearing all the details of their past relationships. But if they tell you about their exes in detail on the first date, it could be a sign that they're trying to make sure you know exactly what kind of person they are before letting you in. This is not a good sign—it shows that they're not willing to trust you or take a risk on the relationship. It's better for them to wait until later on in the relationship before sharing this kind of information with you.
Another thing to look out for here is if they talk about their exes in a negative way, or seem to hold onto any resentment toward them. This also means that your partner might not be ready to let go of their past and move forward with someone new—and it could mean that they're holding onto something deep inside themselves that might cause issues down the road in your relationship.
6. Has too many things common with you
When you’re on a first date, it’s exciting to find out that you and your date share the same interests. But if you discover that you have too many things in common, it can be a red flag.
Why? Because if someone is similar to you, they may also have similar weaknesses as well. And if they do, they may not be able to help support you through the tough times when things don't go according to plan.
Instead of focusing on finding someone who complements your strengths and weaknesses, consider looking for someone who completes you. When two people complement each other, they make each other better—they add value to each other's lives and bring out the best in each other. That's why it's important to find someone who doesn't just share your interests but supports them as well!
7. You feel like they are trying too hard
You have to be careful with this one, because it can mean a lot of different things. If you're on a first date and you feel like the person has gone out of their way to impress you, that's not necessarily a bad thing. If they're wearing more makeup than usual, or they're making an extra effort to show off their knowledge and skills, it might just be because they want to make an impression on you.
But if they seem desperate for your approval or admiration? Then there's probably something else going on. You might be able to tell when someone is being genuine or when they're putting on airs. You'll just need to keep an eye out for signs that the person trying too hard isn't really interested in getting to know you as much as they are in impressing you.
If you want your romantic relationships to last, you should be sure to keep an eye out for relationship red flags. They're a good way to tell what the future could potentially hold, and it's best to nip them in the bud if you can.
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