If you and your partner are close but the “zing” level is a bit lower than in times past, it's time to spice things up. There's nothing wrong with being loving and caring, but being a little daring takes trust. Let your lover know you love them enough to let them play a bit.

 

1) Touch

 

Grab a washable marker or a tube of eye sparkle and a bottle of body lotion. Let your lover stretch out on their side while you warm the oil in your hands and work their muscles. Once they're a bit slick, find out

what tickles: Mark with a T and avoid

what feels good: Mark with a G and linger

what feels wonderful: Mark with a W and put in more time

 

There is great joy in skin on skin contact. If your lover is hairy or they just don't like oil, wear velvet gloves.

 

2) Erotica

 

If you have some good erotica that you keep private, read it to your lover. There may be stories that you keep just for you, but be willing to share the story from the female perspective. If your lover is male, they may be excited to hear what thrills you. Erotica can also be a wonderful source for role playing.

 

3) Treats

 

The next time you make your grocery pickup order, add a can or two of whipped cream in both regular and chocolate. Put your hair up and let your lover build a dessert on your back. Cool whipped cream on a warm nipple can be a delicious combination. You can probably find other spots for your sweet treat as the night goes on.

 

Schedule a shower together and make sure you have clean sheets set out.

 

4) Observation

 

If you and your lover have always been “lights out” before love-making, start the observation stage by just leaving the lights on. If that's old hat, encourage your lover to masturbate while you watch.

 

If they're comfortable, heighten their pleasure by participating. If your husband has sensitive nipples, play with them as he masturbates. Don't do anything that will get in the way of his pleasure.

 

Be ready to show off in the reciprocation stage. Invest in a few sex toys for women and show your lover what works best during solo sex. If your lover is female, get her a similar toy.

 

5) Role Playing

 

As you're comfortable, try a role you've never undertaken before. This may mean a new position, or making love in a chair or on a table so you can touch your lover in new ways when you're joined.

 

For anyone who's been molested or abused, this process can trigger some terrible feelings or dreams. If you are interested in going a bit farther with your lover, such as using restrictive tools, consider meeting with a sex therapist to help you manage any discomfort.

 

6) Necking or Parking

 

When you live together, it can be tempting to quickly get naked just because you can. However, heading out to do some necking or parking can be quite a thrill. You get to

focus on kissing for an extended period

be touched through your clothes, which can ramp up the friction

check out a new environment

 

Getting away can happen almost anywhere. Pitch a tent and go stretch out together in the backyard. Join the mile high club.

 

7) Make a Date

 

Set a calendar date for touching and whatever comes next. This is especially important if you or your partner have noticed a change in libido levels as you have gotten older together. If you don't like morning sex and your partner does, let them know. Do what you can to please them because you love them, then make a date for a bit of reciprocity.

Dates can be meeting at home for a lunchtime quickie or a long, languid evening of massage and sex. Life with your partner should be engaging, funny, loving and intense. Do your best to make sure that your sex life is the same.

 

 

About the Author:

Lisa Eclesworth is a notable and influential lifestyle writer. She is a mom of two and a successful homemaker. She loves to cook and create beautiful projects with her family. She writes informative and fun articles that her readers love and enjoy. You can directly connect with her on email – [email protected] or visit her website www.lisaeclesworth.com.

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