8 Conversations You Should Have with Your Partner Before Marriage
Most of us want to get married one day. Before you take this big step, is there anything you should be discussing with your partner? In most cases, the answer is yes. Here are some things that every engaged couple should be discussing—if not just for the fun of it.
1. What is your definition of success?
There are many things that you should discuss before you get married, but one of the most important is your definition of success. Success means something different to everyone, and it's important for you to understand what that looks like for your partner.
Your definition of success may be very different from theirs. Maybe your partner wants to be a stay-at-home parent and raise kids while you want to continue working full-time and eventually go back to school. Maybe they want to travel around the world while you'd rather stay close to home (and maybe even move there). The point is, when two people have different definitions of success, there's going to be some conflict later on down the road—and it could even lead to divorce! That's why this conversation is so important: talking about it now can prevent a lot of heartache later on down the road!
2. How do you define love?
It's important to know what his or her definition of love is before you settle down. This way, if there are any disagreements about the meaning of the word in your relationship, you'll be able to address them early on.
Love can mean a lot of different things to different people. Some people think that love is about being in an exclusive relationship with someone who meets all their needs and makes them happy. Others may believe that love is about having strong feelings for another person and wanting to spend as much time with them as possible. Some people think that love means being willing to sacrifice for each other and putting your partner's needs above your own.
You don't want to get married without knowing how your partner defines this important word because it will affect how happy they are in their marriage. For example: if one person believes that love involves staying committed even when times get tough while another believes that love involves giving each other space when they need it, then there could be some problems later on.
3. What does it mean to be a good partner?
This conversation should include each partner's definition of a good partner and how they plan to accomplish that definition, as well as what they expect from their partner when it comes to being a good partner.
A good partner is someone who has the ability to be supportive of their spouse's career goals and ambitions, while also supporting them in any way possible. A good partner will also know when it's time for them to step back and let their spouse shine. In addition, a good partner should be someone who understands that they will make mistakes along the way and needs to learn from those mistakes in order to become better at being a good partner in the future.
4. What are your family values?
It's how your partner was raised, and it can tell you a lot about how they'll act in certain situations and what they expect from their relationships. For example, if your partner grew up in a family with traditional values, they might expect their partner to conform to those same ideas. On the other hand, if their family members were more liberal when it came to relationships and marriage, then they might not have any specific expectations for their partners beyond mutual respect and love.
This is important to ask your partner because it will help you understand each other better, and it will help you build a strong foundation for your relationship. You can't have a great marriage if you don't know what the other person stands for.
5. What are your core values in life?
Core values are deeply held beliefs about how life should be lived, what's important in relationships, and how you want to live your life. They're not necessarily religious beliefs or political opinions—they're more like principles you live by that help guide your decisions in life. These are things like honesty, respect, kindness, and equality.
You may think that these are things that all couples have in common, but they aren't always obvious until they come up in situations where there's a conflict of interest between two people. For example: if one person wants to spend more time with their family than the other person does; or if one person wants to go on a trip while the other person doesn't; or if one person wants to work while the other person doesn't want any job at all… these are all situations where core values come into play!
So when you talk about core values with your partner before marriage, it's important because it helps you identify any potential conflicts early on so that you can resolve them before they get too big!
6. What makes you happy?
By “happy,” we mean that feeling that comes from being truly content and fulfilled. We don't mean the fleeting, momentary burst of pleasure that comes from eating an ice cream sundae or winning a game or getting a raise. Those are great things, but they don't last long—and they're not what we're talking about.
This is a simple question, but it can be a powerful way to open the lines of communication with your partner.
Sometimes, couples get so caught up in the busy-ness of life that they forget to ask each other what makes them happy. And when you don't take time to think about what really makes you tick, you're not able to share that part of yourself with your partner, which can cause some pretty serious problems down the road.
So before things get too far off track with your relationship, why not take a few minutes out of your day and ask your partner what makes them happiest? You might be surprised at how much insight this simple question can provide into their personality and preferences—and how it might help you understand them better.
7. How would you describe your childhood?
This question will give you a chance to know more about your partner, and it will also help you understand how they were raised, what they believe in and what they hold dear.
If you want to know more about your partner, then this question is the best way to start. It will give you a chance to learn more about their past and their present, and it will also allow you to get a glimpse into their future. All of this information can help you get closer to understanding who your partner really is, which is something that every couple wants when they are planning on getting married.
This question can also help you figure out if there are any issues that might affect your relationship later on in life. This can include things like dealing with finances or raising children. However, the only way to know for sure is to ask—and then listen carefully to their response.
8. Are there any secrets or skeletons in your closet that could come back to haunt us later on down the road?
We're not talking about whether you can cook or how many times you've been fired from jobs. We're talking about deep, dark secrets that might cause some serious damage if they were ever revealed. These are things like infidelity, criminal activity, and addictions—things that might make your life harder than it needs to be if they came out.
The sooner you can deal with these issues and figure out how to handle them, the better off you'll be. It's much easier to solve problems before they arise than it is to deal with them after they've already happened.
Your wedding day will be one of the most memorable days of your life, and you owe it to yourself and your partner to get real about the important issues before saying “I do.” That's why we compiled this list of conversations every couple should have before getting married. Whether you're a long-term couple or a recent engagement, these conversations can help you avoid getting into a situation you aren't prepared for.
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