How to deal with a break-up:
Dealing with a breakup is never easy. Breakups are usually pretty painful, and can leave you feeling lonely, angry, and sad. You might even feel like there’s no point trying new things when everything seems over. But don’t worry: it’s completely normal to feel that way. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve been together for a few months or many years—if it hasn’t worked out, then it just hasn’t worked out. Breakups can be tough, but there are some really useful ways that you can help to deal with a heartbreak and put yourself back together again.
Breakups are sad and no one wants to feel the pain. Breakups are hard — trust me, I’ve been on both sides of them. Sure, it’s tempting to dive head first into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, but there are some other, healthier ways to deal with heartbreak that don’t result in you drowning in ice cream.
Vulture-style loneliness, over-analysing conversations and that omnipresent feeling of ‘what did I do wrong?’… Rinse repeat. But thankfully, there are ways to deal with a broken heart, especially when you’ve been left high and dry and not contacted. From helping you find the root cause of the breakup to jumping on the rebound bandwagon (yes, it IS possible), we’ve got your back.
If you want to know how to deal with a breakup, here are a few things you can try out.
In a relationship, it is important to know when enough is enough. It is essential that you know how to identify the signs of a toxic relationship. If you do not know the signs of a toxic relationship, it may cost you your life.
If you are in an abusive relationship or it’s hurting you mentally, it's time to get out. It doesn't matter what your partner says or how sorry they say they are. You should never stay in an toxic relationship for any reason. You may think that if you leave the relationship, your life will fall apart, but that's not true. Here are some ways to deal with a breakup when you're in an toxic or abusive relationship:
1. Call your friends
Do it now. Make plans to see a movie, go for a hike or have dinner together. You will feel better if you talk about what happened with your friends and get their support. If you don't want to talk about it at first, just hang out with them and watch some funny movies while you all eat ice cream. Just being with other people who love and care about you will help a lot.
2. Talk about it with someone else who has been through a breakup.
This person can be a family member or just a friend who has had a breakup experience before. Sometimes, just knowing that other people have been through what you're going through can help you feel better, because it helps you see that “normal” people have had similar experiences and that you can get through this too.
3. Write in a journal
Expressive writing allows you to process emotions and information without feeling judged or criticized by others. It also helps you make sense of your experiences, which can give you more control over your emotions after something negative happens. And it may help you develop more meaningful relationships with others because you tend to be more open when you write
Expressively.
A study published in the Journal of Adolescence found that young people who wrote about their breakups felt better about themselves and their exes than those who didn’t. That’s because writing about your feelings is a way to process them, so you can get over them and move on with your life.
Journaling after a breakup gives you an outlet for all those feelings you don’t want to express to anyone else — especially your ex. Whether it’s anger, resentment, or sadness, getting those emotions down on paper can help you feel better and heal faster.
You also have the opportunity to reflect on what went wrong in your past relationship so you can avoid making the same mistakes in the future. It’ll help you figure out what you want — and don’t want — out of a new relationship.
4. Cry it out
You've been down this road before. You've hit the point of no return in a relationship: The person you're with is no longer right for you, and it's time to break up. In the past, you might have tried to cling on, thinking if you just make it through one more day things will turn around.
Or maybe you've been on the receiving end of a breakup and felt like your world was ending. The pain can be excruciating and affect everything from your sleep quality to your work performance to your appetite. You may even feel physical pains in your body, because the stress hormone cortisol wreaks havoc on the immune system, making us more likely to get sick.
The good news is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Love is not a finite resource — once you lose someone, you have plenty left over for other people and other experiences. When you're feeling low, social support from friends and family can help boost your spirits.
The first few weeks after a breakup can be rough, and sometimes you just need to cry it out. It's important to allow yourself to feel your feelings in order to move on! Remember, there are plenty of fish in the sea.
First, make sure you have time to yourself. Go to a park or somewhere where you won't be interrupted. When you're ready, let it all out. Crying is good for your health, so don't hold back!
Be sure not to do this at work or in public places, though. You might startle others with your tears and loud sobs when they don't know what's going on.
5. Treat yourself
Treating yourself is good for you, researchers say — especially if you're going through a breakup or other emotional turmoil.
In two studies, researchers found that treating yourself to an experience rather than an object can help you deal with negative emotions. The studies were published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology and presented at the Society for Consumer Psychology conference.
This is true even if you don't have money, the researchers found: Just thinking about a past experience that made you happy can have positive effects on your mood.
“Our research shows that people ought to pay more attention to treating themselves,” said Ryan Howell, an associate professor of psychology at San Francisco State University and one of the study authors. “People are often afraid to indulge, but our research suggests they shouldn't be; it actually makes them feel better.”
6. Steer clear of social media
Social media can be a blessing and a curse in the aftermath of a breakup. On one hand, it can be an easy way to stay in touch with someone you're still interested in, or even to reconnect with an ex down the road. On the other hand, it can also make breakups more difficult when you're tempted to go on social media instead of healing. So what's the right thing to do?
There are some major pitfalls of social media that can make your breakup much harder to deal with. If you're going through a rough patch, consider these reasons why Steer clear of social media is good if you're going through a breakup.
You'll see their updates immediately.
One of the most common reasons we see couples getting back together after bad breakups is that they can't let go of each other. In today's world, social media makes this worse because you're likely to see updates from your ex as soon as they happen. This makes it harder for you to move on because you're constantly reminded about them when all you want is to forget about them.
7. Get physical exercise
The end of a relationship is never easy. You feel like you’re losing half of yourself, and it can be hard to imagine living life without your partner by your side. But one thing that can help is a good workout. Here are some reasons why exercise might be just what the doctor ordered after a breakup:
It releases endorphins that boost mood.
Exercise increases blood flow and helps relieve stress, which means it can help alleviate anxiety and depression after a breakup. A 2012 study found that people who exercise more feel less depressed than those who don’t. It also helps get you out of your head by forcing you to focus on the physical activity at hand.
It improves memory.
When you exercise, your brain releases chemicals called neurotrophins that build stronger connections between nerve cells in the brain and make it easier for new memories to form. That could be beneficial when it comes to forgetting about your ex and making room for new memories with someone else down the road.
8. Try new things
You've probably heard that the way to get over someone is to get under someone new. While I wouldn't necessarily recommend going for a full-on rebound (not everyone wants to jump back into the dating pool after a breakup), getting out there and trying new things can be a great way to keep your mind off the person who broke your heart. You could take up a new hobby
Hobbies are great because they keep your mind occupied and give you something to look forward to every day. Plus, since you're meeting other people who share your interest, it's an easy way to make new friends.
9. Cut ties with the person who broke your heart (if possible)
Cutting ties with the person who broke your heart can be painful and difficult, but it is a necessary step to get on with your life.
It's not uncommon to feel a strong emotional attachment to someone who has wronged you, but that doesn't mean you should stick around and let them hurt you more than they already have. Get away from them so you can heal and move on.
There are several reasons why it's important to cut ties with the person who broke your heart. One reason is that if you are not still in love with them (which would be a different situation), spending time around them will do nothing for you but frustrate you. You may find yourself pining after them or even settling for less than what they offered you just to be around them because of your feelings for them.
Another reason why cutting ties helps is because it allows you to stop thinking about them and their negative effect on your life. If you stay in touch with this person, chances are good that it will only lead to arguments and further damage for both of you. It also means that there will always be someone around who knows how vulnerable or weak you felt when they left which means there is no chance at all that they won't try to exploit those emotions again.
10. Give yourself time to heal
There are a lot of reasons why you may want to get over your ex as soon as possible. You may be tired of hearing about your friends' new relationships and want to find someone new. You could be worried that you'll never meet anyone else, and the sooner you move on, the better. Or perhaps you actually still love this person, and need to get over them in order to live a happy life.
Whatever the reason, there are people who will tell you that the best thing to do is to get over it as fast as you can. But as someone who's been through a few breakups myself, I can say with certainty that giving yourself time to heal is always going to be better.
No matter who broke-up with you and how painful it was, you must realize that you deserved so much better than that. You can rebuild your self-esteem and move on. Take a few deep breaths, take the time to heal and then you'll be back on track. Please take care of yourself during these difficult months in order to feel close to normal again.
