12 Vintage Cars That Aren’t Worth the Hassle
We've all been there — watching another Barrett-Jackson auction where some guy in a Hawaiian shirt drops mortgage-sized money on a 30-year-old car. The vintage car market has lost its mind, and somehow, cars that were jokes in period reviews are now “investment opportunities.”
But here's the truth: nostalgia is expensive, and some classics deserve their reputation for burning money faster than gasoline. As someone who has seen too many restoration nightmares, I'm here to save you from yourself.
In this brutally honest guide, we look at classics that require the GDP of a small nation to be restored. Sure, some folks will get defensive about seeing their pride and joy on this list. Good for them. But for the rest of us living in reality, these are 12 classics to avoid unless you've got Jay Leno's budget and patience.
1974-1978 Mustang II
The Mustang II is everything wrong with American automaking in the '70s. A product of the oil crisis, this Pinto-based pretender to the Mustang throne coughed up a measly 88 horses from its base 2.3-liter four-cylinder engine.
To say it was a disgrace to its muscle car lineage would be polite. Although the V8 option with 140 horsepower was available in 1975, even that was barely enough to push the car's substantial weight.
The real problem lay in the build quality. The vehicle was rust-prone, especially in the fenders, floorpans, and shock towers. Moreover, despite its Mustang badge, getting parts is a bit tricky, and when you do find them, they're expensive. Save your money for a genuine first-generation Mustang, or skip to the Fox body.
1975 Cadillac Eldorado
A convertible from Cadillac should have been a collector's item. Instead, it is a 4,828-pound nightmare. Under its hood was a severely detuned 500 cubic-inch V8 (8.2L) mustering a pathetic 190 horsepower.
To make matters worse, the Eldorado was needlessly complex. The hydraulic system, which controls the seats, top, and windows, regularly fails and costs thousands to repair. There is also the problem of a primitive electronic fuel injection system. While the Cadillac Eldorado has recently seen a rise in value, restoration costs exceed any potential return on investment.
1971 Ford Pinto
The Ford Pinto has a reputation for bursting into flames in rear-end collisions, but there are other compelling reasons to avoid this mobile furnace. First, its base motor, a 1.6-liter engine, produces a wheezing 75 ponies and is prone to overheating. The 2.0-liter option is pretty much the same, and both have carburetors that need constant fixing.
Even by 1970 standards, the Ford Pinto has poor build quality. The unibody design condones rust, especially around the floorpans and strut towers. When these areas fail, repair costs exceed the car's value. With its cheap, plasticky interior and scarce replacement parts, the Pinto has minimal investment potential.
1973 AMC Gremlin
The AMC Gremlin has enough quirkiness to be collectible, but living with one quickly dispels any charm. The car's design creates awkward weight distribution, creating unpredictable handling, especially in wet conditions.
Build quality was also an issue, even when new. Due to varying panel gaps, body repairs on the Gemlin are challenging. Inside the cabin is a collection of brittle plastics and vinyl that have not aged well. Getting parts is another challenge. AMC's demise means most components have to be fabricated custom.
And while prices remain low, restoration costs are in the $20,000 region without any significant improvements to the driving experience.
1980 Ferrari Mondial
You do not often find a Ferrari on the “do-not-touch” list, but the Mondial has more than earned its place here. The Italian automaker's weak attempt to produce a practical sports car failed in both practicality and performance.
The horror show begins with maintenance: engine-out service is required for routine tasks like timing belt replacement, costing upwards of $5,000 every 30,000 miles. Additionally, the air-conditioning system is complex and fragile, using Ferrari-specific parts that cost an arm and a leg.
Don't be tempted by its relatively low price tags compared to other vintage Ferraris. The reason is its ridiculously high annual maintenance costs, even if nothing major fails.
1978 Lincoln Continental
The '78 Continental is a throwback to how bad American luxury cars could be. This 4,900-pound land yacht came with a detuned 400-cubic-inch V8 capable of only 166 ponies. The 460 V8 option only offered marginal performance improvements while boasting a fuel economy that would cause a small nation to go bankrupt.
With an air suspension system prone to expensive failures and a complex climate control system, owners have to shell out huge sums for maintenance constantly. Even the vinyl roof harbors moisture, which could lead to serious corrosion.
1976 Dodge Aspen
The Dodge Aspen not only has a bad reputation but also helped push Chrysler to the brink of bankruptcy. Its infamous “lean burn” electronic ignition system never worked properly and caused stalling and rough running. The only thing the Dodge Aspen has going for it is its indestructible 225 Slant Six engine, but that's irrelevant when everything around it falls apart.
Premature rust was such a big issue that Chrysler faced class-action lawsuits. Front fenders needed only two years to rust, and structural rust in the subframe makes many models unsafe to drive. Even the most pristine examples suffer from poor build quality, and it would be best to look elsewhere if you need a vintage car.
1975 Chevrolet Vega
The Vega's aluminum engine was an innovative disaster. The lack of proper liner technology caused the cylinders to distort and wear prematurely. This led to excessive oil consumption and failure as early as 30,000 miles.
Chevy used cheap steel with inadequate coating for the body construction, creating perfect conditions for corrosion.
Another reason to avoid the Vega is its primitive emissions control system, which strangled the already weak engine. In many states, it is illegal to tamper with these systems to improve performance. The car's styling may have aged well, but restoration costs outweigh any potential value.
1969-1970 Chevrolet Corvair
Despite Ralph Nader's infamous “Unsafe at Any Speed” being largely debunked, the Corvair has more problems than its handling characteristics. The air-cooled flat-six engine suffers from constant oil leaks due to poorly designed pushrod tube seals and cylinder head gaskets. When these fail, oil can drip onto the hot exhaust system, creating a genuine fire hazard.
Parts availability is surprisingly poor for a Chevrolet model. As a result, many components require expensive custom fabrications.
1977 Pontiac Firebird
It's easy to be swayed by the '77 Firebird's look, but this is a vintage car you should only touch with a ten-foot pole. The base 231 V6 is underwhelming, while the optional V8 only manages 185 horses. Emission control systems are a blend of vacuum lines and primitive electronics that can only result in a nightmare.
Even by 1970s standards, the '77 Firebird's build quality was atrocious. T-tops leak invariably, causing extensive interior damage and rot in the roof structure. The iconic screaming chicken hood is not left out, and replacing it is almost impossible.
1976 Lotus Esprit
The early Lotus Espirit is an example of terrible engineering masked by an incredible design. Powered by a fundamentally flawed Lotus 907 engine, timing belt failures were common. The engine has to be removed for routine servicing, pushing maintenance costs into exotic car territory without the accompanying performance.
As for its fiberglass body, inconsistent panel gaps and stress cracks mean water leaks are inevitable. With this comes a host of electrical system failures and interior rot. The Espirit's gearbox is fragile, and rebuilds are costly owing to parts scarcity.
Ultimately, it would help if you had deep pockets and endless patience to keep a '76 Lotus Espirit roadworthy.
1980 DeLorean DMC-12
With its stainless steel body panels and gull-wing doors, the DeLorean makes for great photos but terrible ownership. Its PRV V6 engine produces a pathetic 130 horsepower, making the car slower than a Volkswagen Rabbit GTI.
Despite being epoxy-coated, the frame rusts from the inside out. Surprisingly, parts availability is higher than expected, but the prices are eye-watering. The car's only real value is as a static display or movie prop.
