Losing a loved one is the worst thing you may ever experience. The worst happens if they die unexpectedly in a mishap because your family is not ready for the blow. Nothing equals the pain of the death of a loved one in a terror attack as it takes you by surprise. Incidents like 9/11 had thousands of American families plunging into grief after losing their loved ones in a split second.
Imagine having them around in the morning and learning that they are dead a couple of hours later. The pain shatters you and stays for a lifetime. You may even feel guilty about letting them go to work, school, or shopping that day. Although there is no way to numb the pain, you can do your bit to deal with it. Here are some therapist-recommended tips to handle the trauma and start afresh.
Remember there is no specific right way
People often speak about a certain way they should feel about losing a loved one. Your friend may talk about the death of her partner, a colleague may recall the loss of a sibling, or a neighbor may narrate the story of losing a parent in war. They probably do it with good intentions, but remember that you need not expect to replicate their experiences. The death of a loved one is a personal experience, and you may react differently from everyone else. Avoid telling yourself what you should be feeling, thinking, or doing.
Do not overlook your emotions
A terror attack often claims many lives. But losing your family member leaves you in a state of shock. You want the guilty to be punished and your loved one to return. Besides shock and anger, you may encounter emotions like pain, fear, anxiety, and depression. Overlooking them seems the best way to stay in control, but it can worsen things. Pay attention to your feelings, accept them, and feel them. Dealing with your demons makes you strong and ensures that negative emotions do not haunt you forever.
Seek justice for your loved one
Nothing can bring your loved one back, but seeking justice for them is a way to deal with the trauma and restore your inner peace. For example, 9/11 survivors and their family members can file a compensation claim from the 9/11 fund. You can consult 9/11 fund attorneys to understand your eligibility and claim compensation. Families that lost their members in the incident claimed from the fund after the incident. You may even file a claim if your loved one passed away due to a 9/11 illness.
Avoid reliving the traumatic event
A terror attack happens on a normal day when your family member leaves for work, school, or shopping as usual. You will probably find yourself recalling the day and reviewing the images on television. Steer clear of doing it over and over again because it will only worsen the pain. Remember that you could have done nothing to change fate, no matter how hard you try. Find a distraction such as reading, cooking, or watching a movie so that you can divert attention away from the traumatic event.
The best way to resume normalcy after a disaster is to re-establish your routine because it breeds comfort. Moreover, it eliminates negative emotions such as grief, stress, anxiety, sadness, and hopelessness. Getting back to work can restart your income and rebuild your finances, which are practical aspects you cannot overlook. Kids and seniors also feel more comfortable once they see structure in life. You need not feel guilty about not missing your loved one because they will always be a part of life.
Connect with families experiencing the same pain
Dealing with the trauma becomes a tad easier by connecting with families experiencing the same pain. They relate to your situation, so they are in the best place to support you. Likewise, you can do the same for them. You may easily find them because terror attacks often affect several families in a location. Build a support group to discuss your everyday struggles and find solutions. You will surely feel stronger with like-minded people around you.
The trauma of the death of a loved one is hard-hitting, but the pain numbs with time. The pain reaches another level if you lose them in a terror attack. But resuming normalcy should be your top priority. Follow these tips to get life back on track without feeling guilty about not being able to save your loved one.